Hey, everyone! If you haven’t taken the Retrolympics quiz on the front page of Destructoid, stop reading this right now. I mean, you can read a little further ... but stop before you get to the part where you have to scroll down.

These are the answers to the Retrolympics, a quiz on all things retro games. Hopefully you are in the process of taking the quiz right now. (If not, click here to participate!) Just start scrolling down to see all the correct answers. You can keep this window open as an answer guide as you make your way through the questions.

Okay, this is the last warning. I am going to post all the answers below. DON’T SCROLL DOWN IN FEAR OF BEING SPOILED!

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Answer #1
B.

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Answer #2
B.
Princess Peach would be a great coach for the Long Jump, but Luigi is easily the highest jumper in Super Mario Bros. 2.

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Answer #3
B.
Kain is a dragoon, and dragoons love to jump really high with really badass spears.

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Answer #4
C.

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Answer #5
A.
Did you remember correctly?

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Answer #6
B.

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Answer #7
B.

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Answer #8
A.
So cute!

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Answer #9
C.

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Answer #10
A.
When Pegasus Knights are hit with an arrow, it almost kills them instantly.

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Answer #11
A.
The boomerang is in there, too!

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Answer #12
B.
Extreeeeeme!

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Answer #13
D.
Jaws the videogame is awful, but I secretly love it.

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Answer #14
D.
The dragon is guarding the magic mirror. Don’t all dragons guard ... something?

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Answer #15
D.
No Colin Powell in the game.

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Answer #16
C.

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Answer #17
B.
Sabin is amazing.

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Answer #18
B.

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Answer #19
D.

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Answer #20
B.
I seriously go back and forth on which version I like better. They are both so good!

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Answer #21
D.
Frog is awesome.

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Answer #22
C.
Contra III: The Alien Wars is the only one of the listed Contra games that features the homing gun weapon upgrade.

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Answer #23
A.
The red capsule gives you the laser.

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Answer #24
C.

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Answer #25
D.


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Thanks again for competing in the Destructoid Retrolympics! How did you do?

In the past two years, I have asked for your help in providing some yes/no questions to help with our annual E3 predictions post. And, boy, you never disappoint. (THAT’S BECAUSE YOU ARE ALL AMAZING!)

Last year these questions were used to ask animals at the L.A. Zoo about what would happen at E3. The year before that they were used to talk to a psychic.

So, what is in store for this year? Well ... it is not really decided yet. (Or is it?) Some ideas are working themselves out, but nothing is officially set in stone. (Or IS it?!)

Either way, we need your help! Just like the last two years, please leave some yes/no questions in the comments about this year’s upcoming E3! They can be about anything! What games do you want to see announced? Who will “win” the press conferences? Will Sony completely ignore the recent PSN controversy? Or will they handle it with humor?

Check out the last questions post to get an idea of what we are looking for.

Thanks in advance! This is the best community on the Internet and I love you all like family!

OMG E3!

Pic unrelated. I just love Dr. Teeth and The Electric Mayhem.

Hey everyone! I need your help!

As some of you may know, last year I went to a real-life Los Angeles psychic to have her do some E3 predictions (you can read the post right here). I wanted to see if a random woman who knows nothing about videogames could make better predictions than the highly paid analysts that seem to just make educated guesses for a living.

The entire experience was incredible, ridiculous, and surprisingly accurate. The psychic did a pretty good job of predicting what would or would not be announced at last year’s big show.

Well, this year I am going to do another prediction post ... although this one will be a little different.

One thing that is not changing, though, is I still need a bunch of yes or no questions from you guys!

Last year you all did not disappoint when I asked you to provide a list of yes/no questions about things that could or could not happen at E3. In fact, the questions you provided were fan-freakin’-tastic! So let’s do it again! (To get an idea of what I am looking for, you can click here for last year’s question post.)

Basically, just have fun and ask anything you want – as long as it is a yes or no question.

Curious if they will announce a certain game? Want to know if a new console will be revealed? Interested in proving or disproving all the E3 rumors that are already starting to circulate? Anything relating to E3 is welcome!

I may not be able to select all your questions for the upcoming prediction post, but please feel free to ask as many as you want. The more I have to choose from the better!

Sorry to keep the subject of all this a mystery. But, just like last year, I will save the big reveal for the actual post in a couple weeks.

Rest assured, though, that these yes/no questions are going to be put to very interesting use ...

NOW GET TO ASKIN’! The more creative and varied the better!

I AM SO EXCITED! Thanks in advance!

As some of you may know, I am obsessed with Showgirls. The movie is absolutely brilliant on so many different levels and has some of the best scenes ever put to film. It also features my single favorite line of dialogue in the history of cinema. I feel a little bit uncomfortable repeating it here, but let’s just say it involves “previous jobs” and “bodily fluids.”

Amazing.

It also helps that I own the Showgirls VIP Edition on DVD, which includes many fantastic trinkets, my favorites being the pin-the-pasties-on-the-stripper game and the Nomi Malone shot glasses.

But I digress. *does signature Nomi Malone hand/arm shuffle*



Late last year, when it was announced that some random German filmmaker was making a sequel to my beloved Showgirls I had two reactions. At first, I screamed in excitement that there would be more Showgirls, but then I was angered once I heard what the movie would be about: something concerning a murder and some kind of vengeful woman and some crazy sex ring ... or something. Basically, the sequel would have NOTHING to do with the original movie and is only using the name “Showgirls” to grab attention.

Argh.

But I held in my disappointment in someone not making a proper Showgirls sequel that obviously should take place with Nomi Malone making it in Los Angeles (if you’ve seen the end of the first film, this cliffhanger is made very clear). I decided to give the crazy German filmmaker the benefit of the doubt, with the hopes that a brand new Showgirls sequel could be so bad it’s good, just like the classic original.



Well ... a trailer was just released for Showgirls: The Return this week, and I have held in my thoughts on it ... until now.

The trailer for Showgirls: The Return is the worst thing I have ever seen in my entire life.

Like it or not, at least the original Showgirls had a budget and looked semi-professional. Showgirls: The Return looks like it was shot for ten dollars.

Okay, just so you can follow what I am saying, you can watch the trailer right here, but please keep in mind it is RIDICULOUSLY NSFW! It is basically porn. Don’t say I didn’t warn you.

(You can also click here if that first official link doesn't work. Apparently the movie's Web site just blew up. Ha!)

Now that you have watched it, what do you think? Yeah, I know, it’s the longest, most boring trailer ever, right?

ARGH!

This German filmmaker is ruining the good name of Showgirls!

Since I am assuming this movie will never be released here, I still hold out hope that a true sequel to my precious will be made someday. Heck, maybe some of you want to work with me to get that done! I’m not kidding.

I give the trailer some “so bad it’s good” props for that HILARIOUS scene when the girl “hits” the other girl in the head with the gun. That may be the most ridiculous thing I have ever seen in my life.

Which, when talking about Showgirls, is the biggest compliment I can give.

Score: 0.5

Okay, I was going to do various countdown posts all week in celebration of the glorious Puppy Bowl that comes on this weekend, but ... well ... it was a crazy week and I didn’t have time. I feel like I let down my precious puppies. Don’t hate me, you cute scamps, you.

So, since my week is still out of control, I will make this quick.

Puppy Bowl VI is on this Sunday (2/7) on Animal Planet (during the Super Bowl).

It is by far better than the Super Bowl could ever wish to be.

Watch it.

And, the main reason you need to watch -- aside from the adorable pups, the now-classic Kitty Half-Time Show, and the never-gets-old bowl cam -- is the brand new, featured addition.

Brace yourself. You are not ready for this.

This year there will be bunny cheerleaders.



Yup. This is happening.

Now you really have no excuse to not watch this extraordinary television event. It easily has the potential to be the greatest things your eyes will ever see.

I can’t wait.

F*** the Super Bowl.

As most of you probably already know, I am obsessed with the Puppy Bowl. So obsessed, in fact, that starting next week I am going to start a letter-writing campaign to try to be the referee for next year’s show. Sure, I will probably be the only one writing letters, but, hey, if I write enough, maybe it will happen!

For anyone that doesn’t know (gasp!), the Puppy Bowl is Animal Planet’s counter-programming to the annual Super Bowl. Basically it is a bunch of adorable puppies playing in a stadium-themed pen for two hours.

Not only is it far superior to the stupid Super Bowl (sorry, Samit!), it is one of the most ingenious pieces of television programming ever. I have never missed a year!

To celebrate this amazing, once-a-year event, all this week I will be counting down the days to the Puppy Bowl (2/7 on Animal Planet) by offering three compelling reasons to watch! One new reason today, Wednesday, and Friday!

Obviously, watching puppies play is reason enough to watch, but let’s get into some of the specifics that will make this year’s Puppy Bowl one of the best ever!

Reason #1 – The starting line-up

This year’s crop of puppies is one of the best ever!

Take a look of these, my early picks for potential MVPs (most valuable puppy):

Bandit


Bear


Chamomile


Dixon


Eenu


Kiva


Mason


You can check out the whole line-up by clicking here.

So, what do you think? Cutest line-up ever? Who is your favorite (I have dibs on Kiva and Mason!)? Are you going to tune in? It’s my personal life goal to see the Puppy Bowl get higher ratings than the Super Bowl, so every new viewer helps!

Check back Wednesday for Reason #2!

6 more days ...

[UPDATE: In order to not spam the cblogs and make people annoyed with the Puppy Bowl before it even begins, I am only going to post three of these this week (today, Wednesday, and Friday). I blame my over-eagerness on how excited I get about this every year. Haha. PUPPY BOWL!]